Admired

There are so many things I admire in other people.  Things I look at and say, "Oh, I could never do that.  That is amazing.  I want to be like that some day."  I want to become---


The conversationalist- this title applies to most of the men in my family.  Someone who can talk to anyone, anywhere, about anything.  It's a talent for some, not for me.  I'm just hoping to refine my conversation skills a little bit.

The spiritually-minded- people who can casually mention their beliefs and testimony in every day conversation.  It's not a big deal, it's just part of who they are. 


The educated- people who earn higher degrees later in life are incredible.  My mother-in-law earned her bachelor's degree the same year as Jason did; my grandma earned hers after raising 9 children.  She went on to teach kindergarten for years.  I have a bachelors degree, and I'm very proud of it, but I would love to go back to school again. 

The hostess with the mostest- my mom throws the best parties on the block, can host guests at a moments notice, and has the best collection of appetizers and desserts you can find.  Along with that, she makes the holidays pure magic.  Walking into her home during Christmas is like walking into the North Pole itself, complete with all of the sparkles and hot cocoa and hidden elves that are creating the magic behind the scenes.  I just love it.


The gift giver- people who remember birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas before the day of.  I have become especially aware of my lacking in this area since we have moved away from family.  A thoughtful gift given now requires more than a days notice to collect and deliver, and I have sent out belated cards and gifts more than once.  My sister-in-law has sent us some of the cutest little gifts- chocolate shaped magnets for Valentine's Day and handmade hair clips for Leah- because she is an amazing gift giver. (In the two days it has taken me to finally post this, another thoughtful package just landed on our doorstep!)

The artist- paint? canvas? art?  So not me, but I completely admire people that create art.  Luckily, there are a few in my family that I can reap the talent of.

The traveler- people who can see the rich benefits to seeing the world over the rich price tag.  This might be another "time for every season" part of my life, but in the last few years, I have passed up trips to Cabo San Lucas, Puerto Vallarta, Holland, and Italy.  It all sounds great, but it just doesn't appeal to me right now.  Maybe it's the international traveling part, maybe it's the leaving my babies behind, but I do hope that there is a season in my life when international travel is "in".

The home decorator- I get lots of compliments on my home- sure, it's cute and tidy, but we are still students, and we are still living on a student's budget.  I dream of the day when I can have a jaw-dropping home that is decorated out of the pages of a magazine.  Just stop by my sister's house.  Yep, that's what I'm talking about.

The educator- people who just happen to have taught a class or two at the university.  A friend of mine taught at BYU for years- while juggling her two very young boys- just because she could.  Amazing.

The jovial- my in-laws laugh at anything and everything that is remotely funny.  They are probably laughing right now.  The ability to laugh freely and easily is something I admire in others- what is so great about being reserved with your laughter?  Nothing, and I'll probably die sooner because of it.

But there are things that I can do.  Things that I used to admire in other people, and now I admire them in myself, too.  I cut Jason and Adam's hair.  I go running (and I actually enjoy it!).  I am learning to bake bread.  I have always admired people that bake bread!  I haven't found the perfect everyday loaf just yet, but I can make some mean French bread, bread bowls, focaccia bread, cinnamon rolls, French bread braids, and wheat bread.  If I am fore-sightful enough to get the bread raising on time, I just love making bread to have with dinner.

Learning to bake bread has been a slow process, but I love it.  And slowly, slowly along the way, I am becoming the person that I admire.

(And I just love this poem.)

B a k i n g B r e a d
Carol Lynn Pearson

There seemed more accusation
Than admiration in Vivian's voice
When she said, "Well, I wish I had time to bake bread!"

And so sometimes when
The loaves were in the oven
And Vivian was at the door
Louise mumbled something about
Another bake sale again

And never even tried to explain
Her near-religious ritual:

How the flour on her fingers
Was the sun and the rain
And the earth

How the thump of her palms
On the dough
Was the dance of women
On the ancient threshing floor
How the smell of baking
Leavened her
And left her believing that
We rise, we rise

And
How the cutting
Of the first warm slice
For the first child home
Made her a bounteous goddess
With life in her hand