Thoughts on Mothers Day

1. This is the cutest bouquet of Mother's Day flowers I've ever received.  Picked with thoughtful care- yellow is my favorite color.

2. This is how Jason kept the kids so quiet while I was enjoying an extended nap hour upstairs.  I love the absolutely true phrases like, "I love that Mommy plays games with me", "I love the food that Mommy makes!", "She snuggles with me!", "I love our chats" and "I love Mommy because she loves me."... and the not so true one that someone sneaked in- "I love that Mommy is always cheerful!".  But I'll take it!

 3. I'm grateful for Jason and his efforts at picture taking.

But also grateful that he's not the only family photographer.  

This blog might look a bit different if he were.

4. This little cutie gave me the best Mother's Day present I could have asked for.  In preparation for dog-sitting, she quietly cleaned up both the library and the room she shares with Leah, without asking, without being told, and without telling me about it when she was done.  She just did it, and boy was I surprised when I discovered it!  What a blessing to a mother, to have a need recognized and filled by someone else!  We've both been beaming about it all week.

She also drew this beautiful picture of me!

It says

My mom is 60 years old.

My mom is the prettiest when she has a bun in her hair. 

My mom likes to make cookies.

My mom always says, "I love you!" 

My mom is funny when she screams.  

(She clarified that it's the surprised kind of screaming that is funny, like when she puts a fake spider on me and I shriek.)

Leah has asked me more than once if it's hard being a mommy, usually when I'm directing traffic in the kitchen during the witching hour.  How do I answer that question?

It's the hardest job I've ever done, and here I am, still doing it.  And absolutely loving it.  Yes, it's the most maddening, exhausting, challenging, repetitive, and rewarding experience of my life.  I'm surrounded by tiny little people that live their lives gleefully ignorant of the impact that their presence has had on my sleep, my body, and my heart.  Not to mention the condition of my furniture.  Or the silver hairs that have started making a regular appearance in the mirror.

I'm 1,000 times harder on myself that any boss I could ever work for.  I have put the best of my life's effort into listening, coaxing, helping, training, disciplining, apologizing, teaching, cleaning, snuggling, tickling, studying, hugging, trying, failing, and trying again.

It's not easy.  Even when I'm trying to be the best mother I can be, it never feels like quite enough.  There will always be tempers lost, feelings hurt, hopes unrealized, opportunities lost, apologies offered, and second (or twenty-second) chances given.  For both me and my children.

That's the blessing of motherhood.  The chance to try again.

I heard a slightly modified version of this recently, and it rings true in our home.  A man and a woman are given a list of 10 things they can do to become better parents.  A week later they each give their report.

The father has done 3 of the 10 things and thinks he's doing just fine.  

The mother reports she is doing 9 of the 10 things and is confident that she's a complete failure.

But because she's a mother- she will keep trying!

Because that is what we do.  And on Mother's Day, I thanked the Lord that He's given me the chance to do it.

I also thanked Him for the chance to sit and eat a meal and read a book by myself the other day.  Because moms need that too.