It's hard to believe Noah has only been with us for two weeks. He has certainly found his own special place in our family. I miss sleeping through the night, but I love the peaceful stillness of the house when we are awake together and everyone else is asleep. The kids all adore him and crowd in as close as they can to see his eyes when they are open. His crying doesn't solicit complaints, they all just get louder to hear themselves it!
Noah loves to be held, and as much as I can accommodate him, I do. If there is only one thing I've learned as I've had more children, it's that they really do grow up so fast. Leah doesn't ask for "scratch backs" or bedtime stories anymore, Adam no longer tries to sit on my lap when we read, and just yesterday Emma started climbing out of her crib. So I don't really mind the calls for attention that I get day and night from Noah. I've been waiting a long time for the chance to hold him in my arms. And with his sweet baby smells and wriggly coos, he's just too wonderful to resist.
I found Adam examining his new baby brother one day and whispering his findings to himself. "His fingernails are so tiny."
Leah has discovered the intoxicating scent of a newborn and loves to bury her nose into his fuzzy little head and breathe deeply. I left the two of them in my room yesterday- Noah snoozing in the bassinet and Leah devouring her latest chapter book on my bed. I went downstairs and soon heard Noah fussing through the monitor. I could hear Leah hop up and offer a pacifier to Noah, cooing to him and comforting him. He quickly quieted back down.
Emma took a turn holding Noah today- I was amazed by how grown up she seemed, even though their hands are nearly the same size.
She pointed out his nose "like my nose" and his eyes "like my eyes". She loves to touch him and always reports to me when "baby Noah crying!" She always seeks him out and asks "where my baby Noah go?" She has figured out that just about any time I sit down to nurse Noah, she can bring a book to me and I will gladly read it with her.
Today she held him and sang, "Rock a baby da treetops, da wind blows, and wee-
hooo!"
I can sense that Emma is mourning the loss of her position as the baby of the family. One day last week she came wandering into my room with her pink pac and her two pink blankies, climbed up onto the bed next to me, and just laid there. It's very unusual for me to be in bed during the day, and I think she was taking advantage of it, but also just making sure that she still had a spot right next to her mama. Today, after an exhausting trip to the doctor's office for Noah's two week check up, the three of us snuggled up on the couch and watched her favorite show Sofia the First while we waited for Adam to come home from preschool. She was tired and still, and again leaned so far into me, as if to make sure I would stay right by her side.
Jason is, of course, completely smitten by baby Noah.
I love to watch him examine and coo over and love Noah. And I'm grateful for the moments that he takes him from me and tells me to go rest for a bit (which, for some silly reason, I never do!) He has always been responsible for bath duty, which Noah seems to love. Just like his mama.
And I'm loving life. I'm forcing myself to take things slow, and still spend more time in my lounge pants than in my blue jeans. I get up with Jason and the kids every morning, but more than once I have shooed them all out the door and taken myself and my sweet baby Noah right back to bed. And it feels great.
I have felt so much love in the last two weeks. So grateful for all the people that have offered us meals, rides, play dates, listening ears, and thoughtful texts and phone calls and emails. They are all tender mercies of the Lord that help me know we are loved and supported and not alone. There are times every day when I feel overwhelmed at the prospect of figuring out our new normal- trying to visualize getting myself and 4 kids up and out the door by 7:35 (right now Jason is staying home to help get Leah to school and my sweet neighbor has been taking Adam to and from preschool- both huge blessings!) and figuring out how to get everyone gathered back in at the end of the school day.
The cold weather is looming, which does nothing to boost my confidence about getting out and about, but instead leaves me wanting to hunker down in our home and never leave. That is not very conducive to finding the new normal. Part of me wants to rest as much as possible, but part of me knows that time and life march on and I'd better not miss it! I find comfort in the routines that keep our family going.
We've had two lovely Family Home Evening nights since Noah has been with us- one where we had a General Conference topics treasure hunt and one where we played Duck, Duck Goose at least a dozen times. Emma always wants to play The Hand Squeezing game when we kneel down for family prayer, and we always pile up our hands- counting each one until we get all the way to 12- when the prayer is over. Then we shout, "Family Power!" which always startles Noah.
I'm letting go of the fact that we probably aren't going to make it to a real pumpkin patch this year. I'm not going to be able to attend either of my big kids fall parties in their classrooms. But life has slowed down, just as I hoped it would with the arrival of our sweet baby boy. We're thrilled that Grandma Morales is going to be here tomorrow to keep us company for the weekend, and we're counting down the days until Grandma and Grandpa and Auntie Al will be here at Thanksgiving. I'm ecstatic that I still have 4 more weeks in the "cocoon of healing". Life is good.
Jason has temporarily taken over grocery shopping and errand running, as well as getting Leah to school in the morning and weekend social obligations. Last weekend he took the kids to an adoption benefit for our neighbors. The kids had their caricatures drawn and absolutely loved them!
