-Isms

N, quite confused about an event he was going to - I thought it was a combined rally, not a combine rally!

*****

E- suddenly stops talking- I was looking in the mirror at my hair and it looks like troll fuzz. 

(Laughs at herself and then snorts) See you just made snot out of my nose! I am a troll!

*****

M- Noah, I've noticed that you aren't bothered by me touching you lately! You let me wipe your check and even hold your hand in church!

N- Well, that's just because you keep a firm grip. 

*****

N, after listening to me talk about my Sunday experience - Relief Society in a nutshell, am I right?!

*****

N, comforting Leah when she was disappointed - I’m sorry Leah. 

L- It’s okay. 

N- No it’s not, but I don’t know what else to say. 

*****

E- after learning that Kell bailed on Leah at Yankee Doodle Pops concert - Can he drive? 

L- Yes, he just didn't come. 

E- Ooh, I’m going to have to take away a point.

***** 

M- I saw a big, pudgy, chubby rodent trundling through the yard this morning. 

N- Was it Laney?

*****

M- I’m so glad we can park our cars in our garage. 

A, clearly confused - So some people have garages that are too small for cars? 

*****

M, observing a big, fat pig curled up in a sty on a farm - How can you tell which end is its head and which is its tail? 

N- Tickle it and see which one laughs! 

*****

A friend - Your kids are gems in a pile of gravel.

Could a greater compliment be given from one mom to another? 

Also, "You should write a book about all the things you did as a mom to make us turn out so great." 

That is just about the highest compliment one of my own kids could give me. (Spoiler alert, I'm not done with the job just yet. Still plenty of time to get it plenty wrong. But I keep trying!) 

Mopping ballet lives on!

-Isms

N- The worst part of my day is riding the bus home and the worst person on the bus is (boy's name). First he was annoying me because he always wanted to play video games on my computer, which I put an end to that, then he got a phone and he started playing games on his phone and monologuing about all the different games. He has a game where you literally just get a gun and shoot at everything really like it’s a picture of a gun and you just shoot things. 

M- That's awful! 

N - Yeah it’s terrible. I just don’t know about this next generation.

*****

E, trying a lemon zest herbal tea that I had enjoyed at book club mid-winter. 

It smells so pungent... but it tastes so bad. 

*****

N, while keeping a surprise secret from Emma - I'm not the sort of person who ruins a secret! If I was, I'd be really disappointed in myself. 

*****

E, helping me set up for a game of badminton - Now where are the mittens? 

M- The what? 

E- The mittens! For the badminton!  You know, the (makes the swinging motion)! 

M- Oh! Those are called racquets. But we can call them mittens. 

And we have ever since. 

*****

N- Like when you walk across the stage and get your DI-ploma. 

M- The word is di-PLO-ma. 

N, while setting up trick shots with Adam- It's probably really nau-she-ating watching me walk back and forth. 

M- What did you say? 

N- It's probably really nau-she-ating watching me walk back and forth. Like nau-she-a.

M- No SH. Just S. Nauseating. 

(I always say that knowing big words but not knowing how to pronounce them is a sign of a great reader!)

*****

A conversation on the way home from church- 

N- What is LGBTQ, anyway? 

M & E- explains what each letter stands for. 

N- Oh! I thought it was some kind of disease or something. 

*****

E, while squeezed onto her bed with Mom and Leah - Move over! Look at this! I barely have a fragment of the bed! 

*****

N, reading Stop That Pickle! out loud - It was lunchtime when Ms. Elmira Deeds waddled into Mr. A-DOLPH's deli. 

M- It's pronounced A-dolph. 

N- "I would like a pickle, please," she said.

"Why certainly," said Mr. A-DOLPH, wiping his hands.

M- It's pronounced A-dolph. Do you know what Hitler's first name was? 

N- I thought it was an initial, like A. Dolph. 

*****

L, contemplating the possibilities of her future- 

It wouldn't be the end of the world if (a desired event) didn't happen. But it could be. But it could not be. But it might be. But it might not be. I just don't know. 

*****

Noah fell off a scooter and hurt his wrist. I wasn't overly compassionate, and felt bad about it, and told him as much the next morning. 

M- I'm sorry that I wasn't very sympathetic to you last night when you got hurt. That wasn't very kind of me. 

N- It's okay. Thanks for your hospitality anyway. 

*****

We had two missionaries over for dinner on Sunday. While watching Adam, Noah, and Jason jump up to serve everyone dessert (Adam especially loves taking orders and serving ice cream, and all three of my boys have beautiful servant hearts), the elders turned to Leah and Emma and said - Your husbands are going to have really big shoes to fill! 

They are correct!

*****

A- successfully learning how to drive, but still needing to learn so much about driving, yanked on the wheel while turning down an otherwise deserted country road - Argh! Sorry! The steering wheel looked upside down in my periphery! 

Similarly, while on a trail ride - did that stump look like a human hiding in the bushes to you, too? No? I guess my peripheries are failing me again. 

***** 

E, while shopping at Costco with me- Take a picture! Take a picture! (Sends picture to family group chat with the caption- It's a concrete-bony! 

*****

A, trying to purchase a movie ticket online. 

N- Where are you going? 

A- To a movie. 

M- With his GiRlfRiend! 

N- What? Seriously? In the words of a very wise general authority, that's just stupid! 

*****

Epic contributions from Leah- 

N- Crying is projectile water coming out of your eyes.

*****

N, asking to do something: But Mommy…

M- Don't but mommy me!

N: You call me pumpkin pie, but I don’t complain about that!

*****

SPECIAL DAD FEATURE!

*doesn’t know what the gritty is*

D- Is it like complaining? Is it like that…stinky foot dance you do??

L & E - THE STANKY LEG!?

In case we never documented, he also once asked, "What's a yeeted?" 

*****

Randomly, Noah was given a new nickname by his giggling sisters - Noah Scrap Morales

*****

Noah hates when people say “it’s out of this world!”

*****

M - I love that Noah just plays the bass for fun. Listen to that baddie!

-Isms

N, who has always loved making up a good song- sang out “Food glorious foood! Hot sausage and mustard anddd some buns to make hot dogs, because sausage and mustard and buns is a hooot doooggg!!!!” Moves hand up and down 

*****

E, trying to change her clothes in the temple parking lot- I’m literally flashing the whole congregation right now. 

*****

Many tears of laughter were shed while we were playing Slapzi and trying to figure out if owls have teeth and if an ostrich has hair or teeth.  But nothing was quite as hilarious as the indignant reaction from Noah when he learned that zippers have teeth!

*****

Emma's broken closet door nearly became the cause of a Flat Stanley Noah during scripture study one night.  Noah just explained, 'I pulled on the knob and it wasn't opening, so I tried to pull it another way'.  In the classic mom style, I caught it just before it landed on his head. Could I be the Green Ninja? 

*****

N, while helping me unload the groceries - thanks for buying all of these groceries. You don’t get paid for all the work you do. 

M-  I don’t get paid for most of the work I do. 

N-  Except for podcasts. 

M- Right, except for podcasts, I don’t make any money, but that’s OK. I’ll just spend Daddy's money. 

N- What?! Don’t spend his money! 

M- Why not? He's not using it. 

N- That's true. 

*****

Not exactly an -ism, but I have rarely laughed so hard as I did when we all piled on my bed and checked to see if we have an unecssary tendon in our wrists- you can determine if you have it by putting your thumb and pinkie fingers together.  Turns out, not only does Jason not have the tendon, he can't touch his thumb and pinking fingers together without some serious effort. It was hilarious to watch him try though!  He's a perfect match to my can't-go-straight arms. 

*****

In a conversation with Adam in the car, we were talking about sexuality and gender identity and the self-discovery journey that many people go through to make decisions about things that we generally take for granted.  I shared how I felt, then asked him how he felt. 

A- I'm genuinely amazed whenever even a girl likes one of my friends. I definitely don't like guys.

*****

E, tucked into a massage table and waiting her first massage (a necessary event after her epic scooter fail in the fall. It turns out she sprained two tendons surrounding her rotator cuff and has been suffering through the healing ever since)- I feel like a worm! 

(similarly pictured on my closet floor!) 

*****

I always appreciate learning the ways that my voracious readers pronounce words in their heads that they never would have a reason to say out loud.  Leah just recently learned that the city in Arizona is pronounced Too-sawn, not Tusk-an. 

*****

N- Oh yum, I can take a hoogie for lunch! 

M- A what? 

N- A hoogie!  You know, that good bread for a sandwich!

M- that's called a hoagie.

******

N, with a gleam in his eye while we were waiting in the Target parking lot for the girls- I know what the turbo button does. 

M- What?! No you don't. 

N- Yes I do.  

M- You mean, you know that if you push the button it will eject you from the car? 

N- No! 

M- You mean, you know that it you push the button it makes the car go speedy fast?! Don't push it!  You'll send us straight through the parking lot into that parked car! 

N- No! I know that it just turns on both blinkers. 

M- What?! Who told you that!? That's crazy. 

N- Daddy told me.  So can I push it??

Alas, it's the end of an era.

Contributions from siblings- 

From Adam- Noah, after breakfast when he didn't eat the last waffle he took - Goodbye waffle, you served me well.  I'm sorry I didn't eat you. 

*****

From Leah, who also keeps a record of great -isms- 

Noah During sacrament meeting- (excited whisper) it’s almost bishop buck time!!! 

*

This water is partly sun baked. But it makes it good. 

*

Upon learning about a Fortisisisisisimo from Leah - What? Are you crazy? Is that real? 

*

After marking the tour de stake paper - That’s a bingo! *waggles finger* 

*

Take a picture of this, please. (Backwards Oreo) 

*

No!!! I will make YOU into bone sauce!! 

*

It’s a WITCH! Covered in SAND! It’s a SAND WITCH! 

*

Noah gets a double instead of a single burger. 

Mommy - It’s your lucky day! 

N - Not really. Now I have three patties, and one is a SUBSPECIES! 

M - ??? 

Adam - He considers bacon a patty. 

*

N- Well, you’re already at the tree of life but you have to OBTAIN the FRUIT of joy. 

*

N- *grrr* I’m a rugged animal  

*

*Holding a big stick* I have power! I have authority! I have LENGTH! 

*

So… we just romped around the woods a bit.  

*

I was looking at the words on catchphrase and I was in the family category and one of the words was LICK-WERE! Not in our family!! 

L - …liquor? 

N - Yeah! With a Q!! 

L - …That’s how you spell it. 

*

Taste testing the jam by himself  - Lumpy 1/2 cup sugar... Mmmm....  BLENDED 1/2 cup sugar... Mmmmm!! 

A- weren’t we supposed to try it at the same time? N- 

*

N- I’m Johnny strawberry seed!!! 

*

*Gasp!* a tile-boni! 

*

A - Noah, you only have 8 years until you graduate high school! N - Ahhh! Shhhhh! Middle school is too short! 

*

M - Noah, are you rifling through the trash? 

N - *pops head up* I’m looking at it…?! 

*

E- I think instead of family pictures, we should have a photo shoot of just ME. 

N - Okay, Raquel! 

E -  

N - Hey everybody, look at Raquel! 

E -  

*

General conference tab choir:  my shepherd will supply my need  N: …so this is the spirit of god?? 

*

N, 22 minutes after a church activity is over and our parents are still talking - I’m starting to lose my personality. 

This is what happens when I stand around for too long. 

Hey, maybe if I lock my knees, I’ll pass out and they’ll notice me. Then we can go home.

-Isms

M- It’s a good day to be part of our family. 

A- I think every day is a good day to be in our family. 

Woo-hoo! Isn't that all a parent ever wants to hear?

*****

E, after dedicating the bulk of a Saturday to spring cleaning her room- Do you want to come seem my Palestine room? 

L- Do you even know where Palestine is? 

E- It’s a room that looks like a palace!  Palestine!

L- Yeah, don't say that.

*****

E- Whipping a random piece of whittled wood out of her purse-  You guys!  This is my magical flute.  I just I found this in a forest. I didn’t even chisel it or anything it was just like that!

******

N- Bats are disgusting. They're especially gross when they’re all clumped together. 

*****

M- Daddy needs to crack a window. 

N- Crack a window?  Why would he want to do that? 

M- Oh!  It just means open a window up a little bit. 

*****

Chatting with Noah in the morning- 

M- Did you hear that woodpecker on the house? 

N- Yes!  I could hear him pecking on the wall so I went over and banged on the wall but he didn't give up!  So I just went and clipped my toenails. 

*****

N, on a particularly rough morning- I'm so sad I’m going to school in five minutes and then it's back to the rat race…. What is the rat race anyway?

*****

While walking around downtown Kansas City, a noisy motorcycle went roaring down the street- N- Whoa, take it for a walk Jimmy!

*****

E, observing the state of our family and lamenting over the loss of her best big sister over spring break- This isn't what I want us to look like.  I can't even remember what Leah looks like anymore.

0.5 pictures to help her remember.... kind of. 

-Isms

(Another tooth lost!)

 Adam, holding out a block of cheese- Noah, how much do you think this weighs?

N- I don't know.... point 5 of a pound or something?

A- Nope!  Two pounds, see it says it right here. 

N- 2 L-B's?  That means pounds? I thought that meant 2 lubs!

*****

Adam, on a typical school morning, gets on the bus at 6:44.  It is always dark and always cold.  He give me a big hug and says, "bye Mommy, I love you, have a good day!", then he falls on the ground and says (two octaves higher than he was just talking to me) "bye Laney you sweet little pup yes you are the cutest and I love you so! much! yes I do" (snuggle snuggle snuggle), then he stands back up, straightens out his jacket and says to Jason (three octaves lower than he was just squeaking to Laney) "ahem...see ya." 

*****

Overheard, during a clean laundry war between Leah and Noah on my bed- 

N- What is this??

L- It's my underwear. 

N- You have underwear??

L- Yes, of course!  Everyone does. 

N- I didn't know that!

L- Did you think I just walk around without underwear on??

*****

In the car on our way to my piano recital- 

A- A recital is a night to celebrate musicians. 

N- What?

D- A musician. 

N- What!?!!

D- A musician is anyone who plays an instrument.  Actually anyone who makes music.  

N- Oh right, I was thinking of.... a magician. 

*****

Lamenting the end of a wonderful winter break- 

Life is even worse when you're a man, because you have to go to school for like.... 13 years!  And then you have to get a job, and you have to work there every day until you're 75 and then you're too old to even do anything and you just have nothing to look forward to except the crossword puzzle!

(No offense to Leah, who actually developed her love of the crossword puzzle at age 15.) 

*****

Tattling N- Adam, Mommy ate a piece of your Toblerone. 

A- You did? 

M- Yes..... Noah told me I could. 

N- No I didn't!  And I'm telling the truth!

*****

N, trying to remember how to pronounce less common words- Look!  A pe-cahn!  I mean a two-cahn!  I mean a toucan! 

-Isms

D- Have a good day at school and remember what it means to be a Morales. 

N, frantically- What? I don't know!  What does it mean??!

*****

A- I think we should be doing some kind of work to warm our brains up for school. 

N, exhausted- I just did a lot of hard thinking the other day!  In my theory book!

*****

We were having a completely benign family conversation about bedtime and sleeping and Adam chimed in with some important new- I know what you guys do after we go to bed, because sometimes I come into your room and I've seen you... having screen time. 

Ha!  That's okay with me!

*****

Over the summer Jason and I went to visit a dying person in our ward and left the kids home to take care of each other.  When we got back they were happily playing a card game in the living room and it was sweet and special to see four friends enjoying some non-screen time together. 

Not many days later they had the most fun playing hide and seek with each other and Laney.   When they couldn't find Adam, Noah called out, 'Adam, give us a sound!'

-Isms

Trying on Daddy's Sunday shoes.  Someday they'll fit!

While talking about skipping school around the dinner table, Noah struggled to understand the concept- I don't understand how you got to the school, then didn't walk into the school.... I don't think teenagers are very smart!

He's right about that!  The kids recently found my freshman yearbook and took all kinds of pictures of events I've mostly forgotten about, like playing one of Pharaoh's servants in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, 

trying cheerleading for a semester, 

and competing on the debate team.

*****

Daddy made dinner one night while I was out.  When I tucked Noah in that night he reported, "Dinner was okay.  But I like it more when you make regular stuff... like mixel barf soup." 

*****

N- I wonder what it would be like to be a big brother.  I don't want a baby, I just wonder.... would you be okay with having another baby? 

M- Yes! I mean, I don't want to have another baby but if I did I would be thrilled about it. 

N- Oh... so you want it but you just don't (makes big round belly tummy movements) want it. 

M- Ummm.... sure!

*****

One night Leah, Adam and I were driving home from mutual and the trash can needed to be brought into the garage.  When I said as much Adam said "Not it!" and Leah said, "Let's do rock, paper, scissors." 

I said pick a number between 42 and 55.  

Leah picked 44 and Adam picked 52.  The number was 52, so I told Adam he got to bring in the trashcan.  (I never said what would happen to the person who guessed the closest). 

So Adam hopped out and did the funniest flailing zig-zag hopping dance down the driveway while steering the trash can into the garage.  Leah and I laughed and laughed and when we all got inside I said- Adam, you are always such a happy boy.  Why are you so happy? 

A thought for a second and said- Because I don't have much to not be happy about. 

I like that attitude.

Once a week or so we all snuggle up in the scripture room and I read out loud from our latest adventure book.  This time Jason fell fast asleep and was snoring while everyone else headed off to bed.  

*****

N- Is church cancelled since it's on Valentine's Day this year? 

*****

We couldn't stop watching cars slide down the hill outside our back window during an especially slippery snowy day last week.  

M, feeling slightly anxious about the welfare of the slipping cars- I don't know what we can do except watch.  

N- We can pray! 

And we did!  And everyone was just fine.