A Poem by 6th Grade Noah

 Visible, invisible,

a fluctuating charm.

But be careful with the creature,

'Cause if not, it will cause harm.

Watch as the jellyfish

Floats in the sea,

I'm going to catch it-

Ouch! It stung me.

Off to the hospital,

I am feeling pain,

As I tilt my head up,

I see it stung my vein!

In the ER now, 

they're going to do some studies, 

In goes the srynge-

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Then I wake up and hear the doctor talking.

"After some research and quite some dread, 

We're sorry to say you soon will be dead."

So I sit and curse on the bed.

*****

And a really sweet Noah-ism, who was resting on the couch and catching up on an old volume of the blog- 

Low key the best book ever is the blog. It’s a great book with great characters who are great role models. It’s the kind of family I want to have! 

(How lucky am I that I've had a chance to write and shape and edit and refine the memories that our family has made over the last 20 years?! The blog has definitely highlighted many of our best sides! 

Milestones for Noah

 Much to Emma's dismay, the highly anticipated day has arrived. 

We all knew this day was coming soon! 

And what's more, Noah is learning how to cut the grass this summer!

He did a great job his first time around. 

He has been my best buddy this summer, especially while the father and Adam and Emma were at trek. 

Zombie burger and the summer strings concert!

"This could be a YouTube thumbnail." 

We went on a hike in Browns Woods and almost died when we stopped to admire some cute birds scuttling across the path... then their HUGE mama flapped out of the bushes right in front of us!! 

My best Gwenny helper this time around. 

We've also been to the library, the pool, the pond, and have been studying up on Les Miserables so we understand at least a bit of it on our upcoming trip to Utah. 

I was thinking recently about how the Noah-isms are fading away, when he hit me with this one- 

*****

N, while I was jostling him in his bed one morning- Could you please stop? You're hurting my shoulder blade. (Points to his collar bone)

M- That's your collar bone. 

N- My what? 

M- Your collar bone. Your shoulder blade is back here. (Points it out)

N- I thought that was called my shoulder cap! You know, like your knee cap, your elbow cap, your shoulder cap, your finger cap! (shows me his knuckles.) 

Ha! 

-Isms

N, quite confused about an event he was going to - I thought it was a combined rally, not a combine rally!

*****

E- suddenly stops talking- I was looking in the mirror at my hair and it looks like troll fuzz. 

(Laughs at herself and then snorts) See you just made snot out of my nose! I am a troll!

*****

M- Noah, I've noticed that you aren't bothered by me touching you lately! You let me wipe your check and even hold your hand in church!

N- Well, that's just because you keep a firm grip. 

*****

N, after listening to me talk about my Sunday experience - Relief Society in a nutshell, am I right?!

*****

N, comforting Leah when she was disappointed - I’m sorry Leah. 

L- It’s okay. 

N- No it’s not, but I don’t know what else to say. 

*****

E- after learning that Kell bailed on Leah at Yankee Doodle Pops concert - Can he drive? 

L- Yes, he just didn't come. 

E- Ooh, I’m going to have to take away a point.

***** 

M- I saw a big, pudgy, chubby rodent trundling through the yard this morning. 

N- Was it Laney?

*****

M- I’m so glad we can park our cars in our garage. 

A, clearly confused - So some people have garages that are too small for cars? 

*****

M, observing a big, fat pig curled up in a sty on a farm - How can you tell which end is its head and which is its tail? 

N- Tickle it and see which one laughs! 

*****

A friend - Your kids are gems in a pile of gravel.

Could a greater compliment be given from one mom to another? 

Also, "You should write a book about all the things you did as a mom to make us turn out so great." 

That is just about the highest compliment one of my own kids could give me. (Spoiler alert, I'm not done with the job just yet. Still plenty of time to get it plenty wrong. But I keep trying!) 

Mopping ballet lives on!

-Isms

N- The worst part of my day is riding the bus home and the worst person on the bus is (boy's name). First he was annoying me because he always wanted to play video games on my computer, which I put an end to that, then he got a phone and he started playing games on his phone and monologuing about all the different games. He has a game where you literally just get a gun and shoot at everything really like it’s a picture of a gun and you just shoot things. 

M- That's awful! 

N - Yeah it’s terrible. I just don’t know about this next generation.

*****

E, trying a lemon zest herbal tea that I had enjoyed at book club mid-winter. 

It smells so pungent... but it tastes so bad. 

*****

N, while keeping a surprise secret from Emma - I'm not the sort of person who ruins a secret! If I was, I'd be really disappointed in myself. 

*****

E, helping me set up for a game of badminton - Now where are the mittens? 

M- The what? 

E- The mittens! For the badminton!  You know, the (makes the swinging motion)! 

M- Oh! Those are called racquets. But we can call them mittens. 

And we have ever since. 

*****

N- Like when you walk across the stage and get your DI-ploma. 

M- The word is di-PLO-ma. 

N, while setting up trick shots with Adam- It's probably really nau-she-ating watching me walk back and forth. 

M- What did you say? 

N- It's probably really nau-she-ating watching me walk back and forth. Like nau-she-a.

M- No SH. Just S. Nauseating. 

(I always say that knowing big words but not knowing how to pronounce them is a sign of a great reader!)

*****

A conversation on the way home from church- 

N- What is LGBTQ, anyway? 

M & E- explains what each letter stands for. 

N- Oh! I thought it was some kind of disease or something. 

*****

E, while squeezed onto her bed with Mom and Leah - Move over! Look at this! I barely have a fragment of the bed! 

*****

N, reading Stop That Pickle! out loud - It was lunchtime when Ms. Elmira Deeds waddled into Mr. A-DOLPH's deli. 

M- It's pronounced A-dolph. 

N- "I would like a pickle, please," she said.

"Why certainly," said Mr. A-DOLPH, wiping his hands.

M- It's pronounced A-dolph. Do you know what Hitler's first name was? 

N- I thought it was an initial, like A. Dolph. 

*****

L, contemplating the possibilities of her future- 

It wouldn't be the end of the world if (a desired event) didn't happen. But it could be. But it could not be. But it might be. But it might not be. I just don't know. 

*****

Noah fell off a scooter and hurt his wrist. I wasn't overly compassionate, and felt bad about it, and told him as much the next morning. 

M- I'm sorry that I wasn't very sympathetic to you last night when you got hurt. That wasn't very kind of me. 

N- It's okay. Thanks for your hospitality anyway. 

*****

We had two missionaries over for dinner on Sunday. While watching Adam, Noah, and Jason jump up to serve everyone dessert (Adam especially loves taking orders and serving ice cream, and all three of my boys have beautiful servant hearts), the elders turned to Leah and Emma and said - Your husbands are going to have really big shoes to fill! 

They are correct!

*****

A- successfully learning how to drive, but still needing to learn so much about driving, yanked on the wheel while turning down an otherwise deserted country road - Argh! Sorry! The steering wheel looked upside down in my periphery! 

Similarly, while on a trail ride - did that stump look like a human hiding in the bushes to you, too? No? I guess my peripheries are failing me again. 

***** 

E, while shopping at Costco with me- Take a picture! Take a picture! (Sends picture to family group chat with the caption- It's a concrete-bony! 

*****

A, trying to purchase a movie ticket online. 

N- Where are you going? 

A- To a movie. 

M- With his GiRlfRiend! 

N- What? Seriously? In the words of a very wise general authority, that's just stupid! 

*****

Epic contributions from Leah- 

N- Crying is projectile water coming out of your eyes.

*****

N, asking to do something: But Mommy…

M- Don't but mommy me!

N: You call me pumpkin pie, but I don’t complain about that!

*****

SPECIAL DAD FEATURE!

*doesn’t know what the gritty is*

D- Is it like complaining? Is it like that…stinky foot dance you do??

L & E - THE STANKY LEG!?

In case we never documented, he also once asked, "What's a yeeted?" 

*****

Randomly, Noah was given a new nickname by his giggling sisters - Noah Scrap Morales

*****

Noah hates when people say “it’s out of this world!”

*****

M - I love that Noah just plays the bass for fun. Listen to that baddie!

-Isms

N, who has always loved making up a good song- sang out “Food glorious foood! Hot sausage and mustard anddd some buns to make hot dogs, because sausage and mustard and buns is a hooot doooggg!!!!” Moves hand up and down 

*****

E, trying to change her clothes in the temple parking lot- I’m literally flashing the whole congregation right now. 

*****

Many tears of laughter were shed while we were playing Slapzi and trying to figure out if owls have teeth and if an ostrich has hair or teeth.  But nothing was quite as hilarious as the indignant reaction from Noah when he learned that zippers have teeth!

*****

Emma's broken closet door nearly became the cause of a Flat Stanley Noah during scripture study one night.  Noah just explained, 'I pulled on the knob and it wasn't opening, so I tried to pull it another way'.  In the classic mom style, I caught it just before it landed on his head. Could I be the Green Ninja? 

*****

N, while helping me unload the groceries - thanks for buying all of these groceries. You don’t get paid for all the work you do. 

M-  I don’t get paid for most of the work I do. 

N-  Except for podcasts. 

M- Right, except for podcasts, I don’t make any money, but that’s OK. I’ll just spend Daddy's money. 

N- What?! Don’t spend his money! 

M- Why not? He's not using it. 

N- That's true. 

*****

Not exactly an -ism, but I have rarely laughed so hard as I did when we all piled on my bed and checked to see if we have an unecssary tendon in our wrists- you can determine if you have it by putting your thumb and pinkie fingers together.  Turns out, not only does Jason not have the tendon, he can't touch his thumb and pinking fingers together without some serious effort. It was hilarious to watch him try though!  He's a perfect match to my can't-go-straight arms. 

*****

In a conversation with Adam in the car, we were talking about sexuality and gender identity and the self-discovery journey that many people go through to make decisions about things that we generally take for granted.  I shared how I felt, then asked him how he felt. 

A- I'm genuinely amazed whenever even a girl likes one of my friends. I definitely don't like guys.

*****

E, tucked into a massage table and waiting her first massage (a necessary event after her epic scooter fail in the fall. It turns out she sprained two tendons surrounding her rotator cuff and has been suffering through the healing ever since)- I feel like a worm! 

(similarly pictured on my closet floor!) 

*****

I always appreciate learning the ways that my voracious readers pronounce words in their heads that they never would have a reason to say out loud.  Leah just recently learned that the city in Arizona is pronounced Too-sawn, not Tusk-an. 

*****

N- Oh yum, I can take a hoogie for lunch! 

M- A what? 

N- A hoogie!  You know, that good bread for a sandwich!

M- that's called a hoagie.

******

N, with a gleam in his eye while we were waiting in the Target parking lot for the girls- I know what the turbo button does. 

M- What?! No you don't. 

N- Yes I do.  

M- You mean, you know that if you push the button it will eject you from the car? 

N- No! 

M- You mean, you know that it you push the button it makes the car go speedy fast?! Don't push it!  You'll send us straight through the parking lot into that parked car! 

N- No! I know that it just turns on both blinkers. 

M- What?! Who told you that!? That's crazy. 

N- Daddy told me.  So can I push it??

Alas, it's the end of an era.

Contributions from siblings- 

From Adam- Noah, after breakfast when he didn't eat the last waffle he took - Goodbye waffle, you served me well.  I'm sorry I didn't eat you. 

*****

From Leah, who also keeps a record of great -isms- 

Noah During sacrament meeting- (excited whisper) it’s almost bishop buck time!!! 

*

This water is partly sun baked. But it makes it good. 

*

Upon learning about a Fortisisisisisimo from Leah - What? Are you crazy? Is that real? 

*

After marking the tour de stake paper - That’s a bingo! *waggles finger* 

*

Take a picture of this, please. (Backwards Oreo) 

*

No!!! I will make YOU into bone sauce!! 

*

It’s a WITCH! Covered in SAND! It’s a SAND WITCH! 

*

Noah gets a double instead of a single burger. 

Mommy - It’s your lucky day! 

N - Not really. Now I have three patties, and one is a SUBSPECIES! 

M - ??? 

Adam - He considers bacon a patty. 

*

N- Well, you’re already at the tree of life but you have to OBTAIN the FRUIT of joy. 

*

N- *grrr* I’m a rugged animal  

*

*Holding a big stick* I have power! I have authority! I have LENGTH! 

*

So… we just romped around the woods a bit.  

*

I was looking at the words on catchphrase and I was in the family category and one of the words was LICK-WERE! Not in our family!! 

L - …liquor? 

N - Yeah! With a Q!! 

L - …That’s how you spell it. 

*

Taste testing the jam by himself  - Lumpy 1/2 cup sugar... Mmmm....  BLENDED 1/2 cup sugar... Mmmmm!! 

A- weren’t we supposed to try it at the same time? N- 

*

N- I’m Johnny strawberry seed!!! 

*

*Gasp!* a tile-boni! 

*

A - Noah, you only have 8 years until you graduate high school! N - Ahhh! Shhhhh! Middle school is too short! 

*

M - Noah, are you rifling through the trash? 

N - *pops head up* I’m looking at it…?! 

*

E- I think instead of family pictures, we should have a photo shoot of just ME. 

N - Okay, Raquel! 

E -  

N - Hey everybody, look at Raquel! 

E -  

*

General conference tab choir:  my shepherd will supply my need  N: …so this is the spirit of god?? 

*

N, 22 minutes after a church activity is over and our parents are still talking - I’m starting to lose my personality. 

This is what happens when I stand around for too long. 

Hey, maybe if I lock my knees, I’ll pass out and they’ll notice me. Then we can go home.

-Isms

Random thoughts, random pictures. 

L- scraping a pile of mustard off of her Cuban sandwich- I am fine with this.  I am not a victim of this sandwich. 
*****
M- Should we have some apples with our lunch? 
N- Yes!  With the chunky peanut butter, the best in the land! 
*****
N, frantically running into the kitchen - Oh!  There's the puddy (as in pudding, without the -ng)!  I thought lost it. 
M- The what? 
N- The puddy! 
M- That word is pronounced putty. 
*****

Tis the season for mice in the house.  We've caught four so far, all from a random unfinished space in our basement that is nowhere close to the food, thankfully. 
M- Did you catch another mouse this morning? 
J- No. 
M- You set a trap last night, but you didn't get one?
J- Yes I did.  I set two traps and I caught one. 
M- What? You just said you didn't catch one. 
J- No I didn't. 
L and M in unison- Yes you did! 
*****
Noah’s having one of those mornings. He just said ‘don’t slap my nipples! Would you want me to do that to you?!! Of course not!!’
Of course not. 
*****
E- Can we buy tickets for the rifle?! They're selling a Wizard of Oz blanket! 
M- Rifle? Do you mean raffle? 
(We didn't win)
*****

N- looking at a picture that Adam sent from the backyard - Is that the moose that ate our pumpkin? 

Dang it moose. (everyone's favorite saying this fall)

*****

N-, trying to guess how they say hello in Hawaii - Hello!  Hola? A-hola!??

-Isms

M- It’s a good day to be part of our family. 

A- I think every day is a good day to be in our family. 

Woo-hoo! Isn't that all a parent ever wants to hear?

*****

E, after dedicating the bulk of a Saturday to spring cleaning her room- Do you want to come seem my Palestine room? 

L- Do you even know where Palestine is? 

E- It’s a room that looks like a palace!  Palestine!

L- Yeah, don't say that.

*****

E- Whipping a random piece of whittled wood out of her purse-  You guys!  This is my magical flute.  I just I found this in a forest. I didn’t even chisel it or anything it was just like that!

******

N- Bats are disgusting. They're especially gross when they’re all clumped together. 

*****

M- Daddy needs to crack a window. 

N- Crack a window?  Why would he want to do that? 

M- Oh!  It just means open a window up a little bit. 

*****

Chatting with Noah in the morning- 

M- Did you hear that woodpecker on the house? 

N- Yes!  I could hear him pecking on the wall so I went over and banged on the wall but he didn't give up!  So I just went and clipped my toenails. 

*****

N, on a particularly rough morning- I'm so sad I’m going to school in five minutes and then it's back to the rat race…. What is the rat race anyway?

*****

While walking around downtown Kansas City, a noisy motorcycle went roaring down the street- N- Whoa, take it for a walk Jimmy!

*****

E, observing the state of our family and lamenting over the loss of her best big sister over spring break- This isn't what I want us to look like.  I can't even remember what Leah looks like anymore.

0.5 pictures to help her remember.... kind of.