Kindergarten Conversations

Mama, I don't want to go to kindergarten.

Why not?

What if there are bullies?  What if the bully follows me around?  What if I don't have any friends?  What if I have too many friends?  What if I don't know how to do anything?

Just be nice to everyone and they'll be nice to you.  If a bully follows you then walk over to your teacher.  They'll teach you everything you need to know.  How to line up for lunch, how to be quiet in the halls, where to sit, how to use your locker.

And how to write??

Yes.

And how to read??

Yes.

But I will miss you so much!

I'll come visit you at kindergarten.

Every day?

No, but sometimes.  And I'll always be here when you get home.

Okay, but don't do anything fun without me.  Don't go to the animal shelter without me!

We won't.

And don't make ginger cookies.  Ginger cookies are my favorite.

I won't (I never have...).  But I might make chocolate chip cookies.  Those are my favorite.

Just save some for me.

We will.

I'll miss you so much!  And I'll never ever forget you ever, even when I grow up and move away I'll always remember you because you're my best mommy.

*****

We've been having these conversations for about six months now.  Mostly they make me smile because I can't take time just yet to weep over the fact that my baby girl is headed to kindergarten, which is basically the beginning of the end.  My naptime snugglebuns!  My fearless little lady.

(We were both faking- we've been weaning from naps since May, but man did we have a good run!)

But Emma is going to be amazing, even if she doesn't realize it yet.  I'm not worried.  Her disposition is to assume that she won't like something, until she realizes for herself that she does.  Not unlike dinner every single night, or the fact that I made coffee cake the other morning for the first time in years (which she can't quite remember but is sure she doesn't like), or our recent trip to a cool new sprayground.  She's skeptical, she's critical, and she delivers a mean side eye, then she embraces it with her whole heart and soul, takes it by the horns and makes it her own.

I'm finding myself grateful that Emma doesn't quite have a grasp on reading or writing yet.  A combination of her fear of all the unknown of kindergarten coupled with an insistence that she already knows everything and thereby sees no need to go to school (a common complaint from Leah when she was the same age) would surely be disastrous.  Instead we're both viewing school as somewhat of a necessary evil with the potential for some serious fun as well.  

"Like clay!"

That was the silver lining for today.  We'll keep working on it over the next month, and hopefully by the time school starts she'll be ready to take it on.

(And dare I predict, since Emma is my first child to worry so, so much about school, that she will also be the first one to fake sick or need regularly scheduled mental health days to help get her through the years.  Adam and Leah haven't figured those excuses out yet- like it or not, they just diligently march off to school 180 times a year.)

And just like at the sprayground, Emma's got the support and company of her siblings at school too!  Thank goodness for a big brother and sister to show her the way.