Growing Up Before My Eyes

Noah woke up after a long nap last week and looked at least three inches bigger to me.  He's graduated to the table, loves to read books, and has plenty to say to all of us, especially when he's not getting his way.  I have a feeling that the terribly terrific two's are just around the corner!

Helping in the Kitchen

I always have happy helpers in the kitchen, particularly when chocolate or jam are involved!  

What I Want My Kids to Know

I want you to know that I love being a mother, particularly a stay-at-home mother.  There are other things I look forward to doing in another season of my life, but right now I feel incredibly blessed to get to wear one giant SAHM hat every day.  There is no other job I have ever wanted as much as the job of being your mom, and I hope that you understand that doesn't mean I am a boring person.  It means I am choosing you above all else.

I think about you all of the time.  All of you.  I spend my days serving you and teaching you and getting so frustrated at my inadequacies in this huge job I have of being your mother, and then I tuck you into bed and I talk to Daddy about you and we try to figure out the best way to be your parents and scheme and plan about the happy things that we will do together with you and I sneak into your rooms and smooth your covers and tuck your hair back and I go to bed exhausted but happy and so full of love and not always 100% (or even 50%) ready to do it all over again the next day.  Motherhood is hard, hard stuff.

I worry every day about what I am teaching you.  If I'm too hard on you or too easy on you.  If I should push harder or let up.  I've never been a mom before, and I try to do what I think is best for you, but I know that I don't always get it right.  And I hope that you'll forgive me when I get it wrong. My heart feels like it's going to burst when I watch you learn something new, or show kindness to your siblings, or when you have a set back.  I feel it all right along with you.

Marrying Daddy was the best decision I've ever made in my life.  Not just because he is awesome and funny and hardworking and is my best friend, but also because he is your father.  He helped create you, and he helps me raise you, and he loves you just as much as I do.  And, because he works so hard, I get to have the job I've always wanted.  I love him so much.

I wonder what you will remember about your childhood.  I want it to be full of the happy memories we are working so hard to create.  I want you to look back and know that I was happy, and that I wanted to be with you and hear all of your thoughts and all about your days.  I want to watch you grow up and cherish every moment.  And when I have to be two or three places at once (like the day of Noah's doctor's appointment which is also Adam's last day of preschool which is also the day of Leah's rescheduled field trip to the zoo), my heart is breaking a little bit that I can't be with all of you at the same time.

Every time you tell me you love me, I keep that love in a special place in my heart that I go back to whenever we are having a hard moment.  I suspect that there will be a time in the future when you won't write me love notes on a daily basis or run up to give me a huge squeezing hug, so I love it twice as much now- once because it's happening today and once because someday I'll look back and remember the time when you did it so lovingly.

I want you to know that the world is full of heartache and hard times.  The older we get the more Daddy and I realize how truly blessed we have been and continue to be.  There is a lot of sadness in the world, and I want you to know that none of us are immune to it.  But our family is growing up in a very happy place and time, and we thank Heavenly Father for this life every day.  I want you to know that.  This life is a good life.

I took these pictures on a happy day at the park.  We fed the ducks (and tried to feed the hissing geese), played on the playground, dug for treasure, had a picnic, and climbed trees (Adam was convinced I couldn't see him because he was wearing a green t-shirt) before heading home.  And I felt so happy, in the midst of some real sadness that people we love are experiencing, and I wanted to capture these moments of happiness as the ones to remember above all of the sadness.  

Good-bye Preschool!

 Adam loved another year of preschool, and I survived another year of driving him there and back!

And now we've reached the end of this era- Adam has graduated from preschool!  

His class had the cutest little ceremony.  Adam took it very seriously and was so proud of himself.  

And we are so proud of him too!  He has grown so much in his time at Triad, and was given "The Bookworm Award".  And there was no falling off the bleachers during the ceremony in an attempt to make other kids laugh, like we experienced at his first preschool.  

He has loved his time with Mr. Adam,

who he really, really looks up to, 

and Miss Allie, who he would give a blue circle to for her efforts in being his best teacher every day.

But perhaps the best part of Adam's preschool year was meeting Alayna.

His love for her is pure and deep.  And reciprocated (thankfully).  I could not stop laughing when these two posed for a picture together- it reminds me of a horribly awkward prom pose and I'm sure it will be going into Adam's wedding video.  I was also surprised to experience the double standard that I have for my boys and girls.  I probably wouldn't have been laughing so hard if a little boy (no matter how cute) had his arms wrapped around one of my little girls.

But that is just another reminder that my little Mr. Man is turning into a big boy, one day at a time.  Be still my mother heart, and thank goodness for this long summer we have ahead of us before my big boy heads off to kindergarten!

A Walk In The Woods

We spent the entire day on Saturday outside.  Digging up and hauling out sod, digging up and laying down 4 tons of river rock (with another 4 tons yet to spread), and planting some, but not all of our new shrubs.  The kids caught a bunny and spent most of their day building a cage, force-feeding it carrots and giving it baths.  We paused only for Adam's t-ball game and briefly for dinner.  The sunset was a beautiful one, and we all went to bed with sunburned necks and sore muscles.

Sunday was a much needed day of rest indeed.  After church, lunch, and naps, we headed to our favorite local woods.  It felt so good to be outside, together, unhurried and enjoying nature.

 We found an "A" tree!  Just for Adam.

 Indeed, "it's impossible to walk in the woods and be in a bad mood at the same time."

Mother's Day

Ah, Mother's Day.  The day in which all of my year's efforts, shortcomings hopes and dreams all come together in one or two thoughtfully hand-scribbled notes.  

This makes me laugh- I do love soup, but my kids think the main reason I make soup is because I love to hear them complain about it so much.

 "Dear Mommy, Do you know how much I love you?"

I love to read my children's attempts at putting their feelings into words.

My mom is fantastic! the best! happy! special! nice! beautiful!  My mom is sweet because she's a great mom!  My mom is a star because she's nice!

And the paper that the older three brought home from Primary was especially telling-

My mom loves me because I love her too/I love her/I love her
My mom makes the best cake/food/red velvet cake
My favorite thing to do with my mom is make cake/snuggle/talk and snuggle
My mom is good at making dinner/hugging/snuggling
My mom is as beautiful as a beautiful rose/a butterfly/a blooming flower
My mom teaches me to turn on the TV/to love/to read music

One of the cards read "My mom is the best at talking on the phone."

Really?  I make a total of 3 phone calls a week.

Next year I'm going to prepare my kids a little better for the excess of jovial bonding moments and kindly adjectives they will be required to extol at a moment's notice when a piece of paper and fistful of crayons.  Then my Mother's Day cards will read something more like this.

My mom loves me because...
...I am a kind, helpful, loving, talented, funny, and thoughtful child with special gifts and amazing potential.
... I am a hard-working member of a great family whose members love each other unconditionally.
...I fill a special place in her heart with an unwavering love that she has only for me.

My mom makes the best...
...well-balanced meals with an emphasis on vitamin D, iron and fiber despite my constant complaints about the lack of really good candy around here.
...jokes about things that aren't really funny. like how much she loves that I complain about her soup.
...environment in which I can learn and grow in a safe place where I know I am loved and accepted for who I truly am.

My mom is good at...
...making deliberate memories with our family that I will cherish for years to come.
...forgiving me when I dump out her tomato plant starters and grind the dirt into the rug with my heel.
...selflessly dedicating the majority of her time to making sure that I am fed, safe, clean, and loved.
...keeping her temper and showing love at all hours of the day and night, no matter how little hours of sleep she may have managed to snag in the last 24 hours.
...making me feel special and loved even though I am only one of the many people in this house that need her constant attention.

I love my mom because she loves me.

Every one of them hit that nail right on the head.  I love them.  I don't love them because they love me, but I am so glad that they know how much I love them.  They made me a mother, and I'm thankful for that every single day.

Mother's Day is never perfect, but the amazing gift of motherhood is one that I celebrate every day of the year.

Tulip Time

Spring in Iowa means Tulip Time!  There is a small Dutch town about an hour south of here that hosts a tulip festival that I've wanted to attend since we moved here.  I was expecting something like this-

And the best we got was this- 

I'm slowly learning to keep my expectations low.  But considering what a great time we all had, I'd say this Iowa adventure was still a total hit.

We were all together making a deliberate family memory, which is all I ever want out of anything we do.

We loved trying on giant wooden shoes,

winding down the Molengracht canal street,

 seeing the largest Dutch windmill in the US, and sampling poffertjes and stroopwafels.  We basically ate our way through the festival.  The decided favorites were the Pella bologna burger, the Dutch bakery, 

and the cotton candy- Noah's first taste!

There were horse-drawn carriages winding through the town, and the kids didn't have to ask me twice for a chance to ride.  

Jason stayed behind with Noah while the rest of us climbed on and enjoyed a ride with Lady Ann and Big John.  

Adam sat right next to the driver and got to tell the horses to "git along", Emma's eyes were shining and bright the whole time, and Leah envisioned herself as a princess on her way to the ball, or so this picture tells me.  

 The festival boasts two parades each day, but we had no plans to stay until 8:30 to watch the lit up night parade until the sweetest grandma convinced us that our kids would love it.  Everyone in the town was so sweet- friendly and chatty and so proud of the town- and we were having a great time.

The festival was small but delightful, the kids were having such a great time running up and down tulip-studded hills and sampling the local cuisine that we decided to throw bedtime to the wind and give the parade a go.

And it was the best choice!  With several bands, glow sticks, impressive floats and the bonus of Oscar the fluffy dog who wanted nothing more than to be petted constantly by four small sticky children sitting next to us, it was the perfect way to end the night.  We weren't really prepared to stay past sundown, so we all snuggled together and wrapped ourselves up in Jason's sweatshirt and Emma's blankie to keep warm.  And when the last float passed us at 9:30 (right as the first exhausted meltdown was about to commence), we hopped up and headed back to the car, where all four kids promptly fell asleep and Jason and I got to visit quietly for the hour long drive home.  That might have been my favorite part of the whole day.

There is nothing I love more than living like a tourist and discovering reasons to love the state we're in.  And Tulip Time is definitely one more thing we love about living in Iowa!