2:30

It's 2:30.  Emma is asleep, Noah is asleep, and Adam is playing on my phone.  Jason is at work.  I just woke up, put away three loads of laundry, started another one, pulled out some meat for dinner and sat down to respond to a few emails.

And my heart wanders to Leah, like it does every day at this time.  She's been at school for 7 hours now, and I'm ready her to come home.  I want her to join us in this quiet hour of the day, so she can put her feet up and rest and enjoy the quiet.  And I worry about her.  How is she doing?  Has she had a good day?  Has she felt loved today?

Or did someone or something make her cry (whether in actual tears like the time her friend accidentally head-butted her, or just in her heart, like she says it does when she hears people take the Lord's name in vain so many times every day)?  Has she learned something new and fun?  Or did she spend most of her day sitting down, being quiet, and wishing she were home?

It's the end of the year, so I know she is doing fun things, but I also know that she's already made it through 164 days of second grade, and she's probably a little tired.

I'm ready for summer.  I'm sure she is, too.  And I wonder if the love I gave her between 3:00 yesterday afternoon and 7:35 this morning was enough to carry her through this day of listening to instructions and following rules and learning new things that she might be struggling with and interacting with friends and classmates that she might be tired of interacting with.

I am so proud of her.  She does it every day.  She complains occasionally, but she knows her duty in our family and she does it.

And I know she has wonderful teachers that she spends her days with.  She told me that her best friend at school is Mrs. Eischeid (her teacher), and that makes me perfectly happy to send her off.

I also think about Adam and wonder how he will transition into the long days of school in the fall, with three recesses a day but no time to prop his feet up and relax for an hour or two.  He's so easygoing and happy- he's so excited about going to kindergarten but I still worry.

And I think that in just two more years Emma will be there too.  My sweet little naptime snuggle buddy.  Emma, Adam, and Leah will be gone all day in elementary school together.

And just two years after that Noah will be there and I'll be here and my heart will probably be so heavy it will explode because I'll be all alone in my house (or not in my house, but still alone), thinking about my four babies and wondering how they are doing and remembering today with absolute happiness.

And I'll go and eat lunch with them and go on their field trips and volunteer in their classrooms, just like I do now with Leah.  And I'll be so proud of all of them for the hard work they do every day, my brave little people.

And then 3:00 will come and I'll hear the garage door open and I'll greet them with hugs and smiles and after school snacks and big listening ears, and we'll all be together again, ready to have fun and waiting for a few more hours until Daddy gets home.