Advice on Crushes

On a recent date Noah shared his advice on navigating third grade crushes with me.  His sage wisdom was too wise not to share. From Noah- 

 First off, you have to be smart and big brained.  I know how to use my instincts. 

Step 1- if you’re a boy, choose wisely.  If you’re a girl, also choose wisely. 

Step 1.5- When you’re choosing a crush you have to be smart about it. You have to choose one with advantages and one you actually like because yeah. This person is in my class, rides my bus and is in my neighborhood. Yes! Score! 

Step 2- Never ever tell your friends about it (unless you’re a girl, that’s what they do. Girls are not like boys, that’s all I’m going to say). Also, try to avoid telling your family about it because they’ll act all weird about it. Especially if you have a sister. Or two. 

Step 3- Alright this is the hard part. So, first of all, you have to master the art of not blushing in front of your crush. I’ve realized over the school year that my crush has never ever blushed in her life unless it’s a funny thing. 

(Pause while Noah realizes I am letting voice dictation take notes for me.  N- I said don’t write that. M- But you’re so wise I want to share this with future you. N- Alright fine.)

You should probably test not blushing with your siblings, unlike I did. 

Ok, now that you’ve mastered the art of not blushing in front of your crush, when someone brings up the subject, say that you’ll tell them later because then you can probably squeeze your way out it and they’ll probably forget anyway. 

But if you know that they aren’t going to forget,  then it’s simple. Say that you told them you’ll tell them at recess. The next part of the step is that, if they aren’t going to forget, then try to get a different place than them.  Like if they’re doing it at recess, if they’re playing foursquare or something, then you can just go down to the blacktop and avoid them because then they'll probably forget anyways.

Then for Step Four- Eventually you have to get the confidence to tell your crush that you have a crush on them.  Or you can turn on detective mode and you can suspect if they have a crush on you or you can just make your older sibling talk to them about it on the bus like I did. 

So that’s pretty much the thing I guess. And if it doesn’t work, you can just come up with your other plans because that’s how I do it!