We continue to wait, inching closer and closer to our closing date! Our house still looks like a mess to me- paint on the ceilings but not on the walls, mounds of dirt dotting the yard, dust everywhere, the master tub in the master closet, and a pile of appliances in the garage. But our plans are coming together! It is really fun to see the plans that we wrote down on paper turning into reality every day.
We're getting so excited to move in. Jason and I used to joke about the kids that came into our newlywed apartment and questioned where the stairs were, as if a house couldn't be a home if it didn't have stairs. Just the other day we had some friends over who asked where the basement full of toys is. Nope, we don't currently have one of those, either. But I think our kids are going to trump all of those innocent observations with their own comments about building a house, as if it is commonplace to have a crew of people working to build a house to your liking. At Adam's well child check-up, the doctor asked if we were building a house. Adam looked at her with confusion and said, "
I'm not building a house. The
workers are building a house for me." Oh dear. True, but sounds a bit snobby, no? I think we need to have a few more conversations about what a blessing it is that we get to build a house. We have a great yard, an empty basement full of possibilities (the kids always flock there when whenever we stop by), and really fantastic neighbors. We have white cabinets and pretty hardwood floors and a sunroom that is, indeed, filled with light all day long. It's a beautiful house, and it's going to be a whole lot of fun once we're finally in it.
But...
I've decided that building a house is a lot like being pregnant, in terms of complaining about it. No one wants to hear it. You
chose to get pregnant/build a house, right? You're
happy about getting pregnant/building a house, right? You're getting
everything you want by being pregnant/building a house, right? (This last one is definitely not true when it comes to building, but what we're building is certainly above and beyond some of the already built houses we were looking at buying) so no complaining allowed.
The things that I'm tempted to complain about are, for the most part, completely insignificant when I think about what an awesome blessing it is that we get to build a house. There is a lot I've learned over the last 7 months though. If you were to ask Jason and I a month ago if we would go through the building process again, we'd say no. But ask again once we're settled in and loving our new place....
Here's the short list of my lessons learned.
*Be ready to second-guess your decision to build several times a month from the day you sign to the day you close. The transition time from our move from Indiana to our move into our Iowa house is going to be over 7 months. That is a long time to wonder why you were so picky- some days any other house will look far better than the house you are building, just because it's already there.
*I tend to be far more critical of my own craft projects than of those that I see others make. Building a house is criticizing-what-you're-making times a million. All of the decisions are made, and we have to live with them, but we're also critical of the work of the builders and contractors- the pattern of the stone, the drips of paint, the quarter inch gap in woodwork- we notice it all.
*If you want to build a house, make sure you know what you want. Don't just know what you
don't want, otherwise what you don't want is exactly what you will get. We knew we wanted built-ins and a nice hearth and mantle surrounding our fireplace, but we didn't know what exactly it should look like. What they built was not what we wanted, even after we had sent them several pictures and architectural drawings of what we had in mind. It wasn't what the carpenter had in mind. That was not a pleasant day at the jobsite. Similarly, I had an idea in mind for our mudroom, and it did not include putting 14 cubbies in a 5 foot space. Not sure what I wanted, just pretty sure it wasn't that. Ahh, the organization, though! That will be fun.
*Be prepared to have an opinion on every single thing that you never cared about or had even considered before. The direction of the island. The curve of the sidewalk. The location of the light switches. You get to pick! And then, like it or not, you get to live with it.
*If you're going to build, surround yourself with a great team of people- you'll be working with them for a long time. Make sure that they are people that have the same kind of vision of what looks nice as you do. We had to build with a certain builder to get into the neighborhood we loved, and they build a great spec home. But when you want to take out the columns and arches and add in bookshelves and a sunroom, things get complicated for a spec-home company. Find a company that has already done the kind of work that you have in mind and you know you'll get what you want.
*Document everything. There was a whole lot of hand-waving at the beginning of this journey, and we communicated mostly through emails. That has been key as we are hitting the point where the rubber meets the road- we can pull up old emails and remind the builders about the shower door they included in the plans, the extra window in the basement we added, or who is paying what at closing.
*Everything will take
longer than you want it to.
*Everything will cost
more than you want it to.
*Make sure you know what your real non-negotiables are. If you absolutely must be in one neighborhood, you might just have to deal with people you don't communicate well with for 7 months to get a house built there. If you must have white cabinetry but don't care where you live, you can probably find something suitable in a house that already exists and just paint it. And save yourself the stress of building.
*Pick your battles. Isn't this a life lesson? We had a point last week where we had to decide what was more important- painting the stair trim instead of staining it, or closing on time. You're not going to get every single thing you want, no matter how hard you try, so pick the most important things and realize that the rest can be fixed later.
Is it worth the wait? I still don't know. But when I see the bay window where we will put our Christmas tree this year and the basement where the kids race to play make-believe and the room where we will bring our baby boy home in October, I get pretty darn excited. I have met several of our neighbors and continue to feel so good about where we will be and what kind of memories we will be making in our new home.