Transition

I wrote this post back in May, when I was very much feeling the weight of our decision to move into a two bedroom apartment in Iowa while waiting for our house to be built.  It was a very hard time, and the fact that we brought it on ourselves didn't make it any easier.  I can only try to describe how happy we are to be in our house now.  A house tour of sorts will be coming soon.  For now, I just love this picture of "A Man and His Lawn".  Jason has been faithfully tending to our sod since the day we moved in.  He's the tiny little speck on the right.

Over the course of our last few months in Indiana, I wrote a lot about how excited I was about getting to the next phase of life.  When we were done with school, done with renting, done with shoestring budgets.  When we would start really settling into life and getting to experience all of the joys that come with post-graduate school life- the mortgage, the student loan repayments, the fussing over landscaping and retirement funds, but also the extra time for family togetherness, the sudden overflow of money, the unending happiness that comes with sleep-filled nights and adventure-filled days.

Well.  If you'll indulge me for a moment, I'd like to state for the record that we are still waiting for those days to come.  It's planting season, so as I'm pounding this out at 9:30 at night, Jason is still not home.  Work schedules have nothing to do with the thesis, they have everything to do with being married to a dedicated man who loves his work.  Not as much as he loves his family, of course, but enough that when there is work to be done, he's doing it.

 (The kids loved climbing on this pile of rocks in our front yard before it was sodded- 

they called it Crystal Mountain.)

The house.  Oh, the house.  How did I not envision the pain and agony that would come with living through the snail-like pace at which our house is being completed?  I like this apartment because it's small and fairly easy to maintain, but I loathe it because it's small and impossible to keep the kids quiet when quiet is needed.  The only time that is a real problem is when Emma takes her afternoon nap and Adam is forced to keep it down for 2 or more hours.  That equates to far more computer time than I'd prefer, and by no fault of his.  I hate the trek to the car- out the door (which requires two hands to lock or unlock, so no groceries or sleeping babies allowed), down the hall, down the stairs, through the garage, across the parking lot and into the car.  At least twice a day when we drop off and pick up Leah.  Once more if we're running errands or headed somewhere extra.

(We all hated not getting to be in the house while the workers were still here.  It was such a happy day when we closed and got to lock the doors from the inside!) 

We are so, so excited to be traveling west next week- Jason's youngest sister is graduating from high school, which means time with the Morales ladies in Colorado and then we are headed to Utah for a serious summer vacation.  A six week vacation.  Without Jason (boo), but also without the confines of this blasted apartment (YAY).  We are going to swim, hike, camp, eat, visit, relax, play, and jump on the floor as often as we want!  But leaving for six weeks also means that any meager advances I have made in finding my place and making friends in Iowa will be put on hold.  There are lots of ladies and families here that I'm looking forward to getting to know, but I just can't do it yet.  I won't be here!  And I can't really host much in my apartment because it holds no more than 10 people at a time before someone gets hurt or the neighbors complain.  So I still haven't found my place in Iowa.  I feel like, in so many ways, it's waiting for me to really get here.  It's in our finished house.  It's in the fall, when we are back and done transitioning and finally settling in.

We all know about the grass that is greener on the other side.  I never really felt like we were wishing away our days in graduate school.  Willing them along at a quickened pace, sure, but still enjoying life along the way.  And life was grand.  And now, for the first time, I truly feel like I am wishing my days away- ready to get out this blasted transition phase and ready to get on with life!  I realize this would happen a lot quicker if I would adjust my attitude rather than count down the days, but on days like today, when the kids are stir-crazy in the apartment but there is no backyard to send them into and I have to make dinner and Jason texts me to say that he won't be home until there is no light left in the day and I feel like we're stuck somewhere between here and there... yes, I am wishing today away.